Sunday, June 10, 2012

You Learn Something New Everyday...

And sometimes you learn a few things!
The past couple of day have had some eye-opening realizations for me...
Well, to be perfectly honest, I think if you're trying to, you probably could have eye-opening realizations everyday. This seems to be a time of introspection for me though, and here are a few of the things I've learned or am pondering:

1. This is a bit of a silly realization, but when Venus was in Transit earlier this week, and I was listening to all of the radio announcers talk about how you shouldn't look directly at the sun, you need special glasses, etc. I realized that the reason you shouldn't look at the sun is that, well, you just shouldn't EVER look at the sun! When I was in grade 6, or thereabouts, there was a big solar eclipse when we were at school, and the teacher struck the fear of god in me about looking at the sun during the eclipse. So, naturally, I just thought there was something different about the sun during the eclipse that made it so you couldn't look at the sun. Turns out, you just shouldn't look at the sun, and the only reason they warn people not to during eclipse is because they are curious enough to try!

2. Lately I've realized that I tend to be greatly affected by the thoughts and sayings of other people (or horoscopes as I wrote about earlier this week). I kept trying to come up with a word for this quality, and yesterday, as I explained this to someone they said "Oh, so you're very impressionable!" And I though, that's it! I'm not sure if this is a quality that I've always had, or developed over time, but there you have it - impressionable! I don't really like this realization, because I've always thought I was a pretty contrary person - you say it's blue, I say green - but maybe I am both? I know that over the past 4 or 5 years I've developed a lot of insecurities and lost some confidence, and I just hope that this impressionable thing hasn't shown up to stay.

3. In terms of friendship, I've realized that there are "Planners" and there are "Acceptors". This came to me while discussing with Janey Canuck about how ridiculous it is that we hadn't seen each other for over 3 months, and some of our other friends even longer! Then I realized that I have been so busy over the past school year with 3 different grades, with a boyfriend, with a super small bachelor apartment that doesn't lend itself to hosting, etc. that I haven't been planning anything! I'm a "Planner" you see. Nobody else is. :-P It can be frustrating, because when you don't see your friends very often you think, gosh, do I have even any? Especially when you are dating someone who has hundreds of them (pros & cons of living where you grew up!), and you are always stuck for finding friends to go out with yourself! I realize I made a big decision moving to Hamilton a few years ago, and maybe I haven't made a huge circle of friends here, but I have made some, and the reality is that as you get older you make friends who have families and can't drop everything at the drop of a hat, like us unmarried, childless ladies can! So I guess if I want things to pick up, I need to put my planning hat back on!! ;)

4. In terms of relationships, I've realized that I have some complicated trust issues (which I knew), but hadn't realized what a long process healing them takes... As I was talking with my intuitive friend who labelled my "impressionability", we discussed trust issues in relationships, and she gave me a great analogy for it. It's all about going from control to commitment. When a relationship starts, it's a power struggle for who has control, who controls that control, and you wade your way through those murky waters as you get to know each other. At some point though, you lessen your hold on that control, and your relationship develops into a commitment. (I'm so glad I had this conversation! CandassP, thank Bev for me!!) Anyways, I know that I am still in the control stage in my relationship, but I think we are approaching the commitment area, which means a lot of give and take right now, and dealing with my trust issues. It isn't pleasant, and it hurts because you need to let go in order to trust, but I am determined to figure them out because I know that what I've found is worth it :)

I'm really looking forward to the summer ahead, and getting into some of my 101 things a little more actively! I am hoping to complete my "Wear dresses every day for a week" very soon. It will definitely include skirts as well if it happens while the school year is still on, because I don't think I own 7 "work" dresses, although I am getting close!
Still plucking away at my 50 Book Pledge, and getting the occasional colouring page in too ;)
Until next time~
Katy








Monday, June 04, 2012

P.S.

Book #24 in my 50 Book Pledge sucked. Seriously sucked. I could write better than that, and I should!
Also - 2 posts down in June so far... well, 3 now...
I'm on a roll!

No Horoscope Zone

So, at some point during January I started to realize how much I was letting my horoscope dictate my life. It sounds pretty ridiculous, but whenever I was reading my Astrology Zone monthly horoscope, I would start to get stressed out any time it referred to relationship trouble, bad days to travel on, Mercury in retrograde, career troubles... you name it, I stressed about it.
Stress comes pretty naturally for me... but when you start to fear upcoming dates because your horoscope said to watch out, it gets a little ridiculous.
Oh, did I mention that on top of the huge monthly horoscope, I was reading FIVE different daily horoscopes?!?!
So I quietly went on a detox. No horoscopes, at any time.
Of course, sometimes I slipped - like for my year ahead horoscope on my birthday. It must have been memorable, seeing as I can't remember it at all. Maybe I didn't read it after all...I could be stronger than I think!
One month, maybe March, I browsed through Astrology Zone, but stopped when I started getting anxious. This month, after Susan Miller tweeted that June was a good month for Aquarians, I took a deep breath and read it all. So far, so good.
Still no daily horoscopes though.. I am way to susceptible to suggestions from other people...
I'm not sure how long I'll be detoxing myself. Maybe until I feel a little more confident in the anxiety department.
It feels strange not reading my horoscope, but there are already so many things to consider and weigh and worry about in life, sometimes you have to take control over what you actually have the ability to take control of!
Yes, I'm an Aquarius with Gemini Rising, and I believe full moons make everyone (especially kids) a little unhinged, and eclipses like to throw dodgeballs at you when you aren't looking, but so do a lot of things in life...
Do you read your horoscope everyday?

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Oops!

I promise you, dear readers (if you're still out there), that I write blog posts every other day in my head... If only I could mentally type them and post them here as well!!
It's been another 2 months since I last blogged... Yup, I suck.
Moving on...
I added a few more things to my A-Z Challenge, and I'm up to 23 books read in my 50 Book Pledge! Hoping to make it to 28 books by July. :)
I finally completed "Get Rid of 100 Things", and dropped off a box of 100+ things (I added more last week) to the back of Value Village - if you're shopping in Stoney Creek you might end up with some of my old things ;)
I also started to colour in a colouring book. Shocking confession: I'm not very good at staying in the lines..who knew?! (It's not as easy as it looks ;))

I'm off to live in report card land for the next week, but hopefully will get things accomplished this summer - provided things work out career-wise, I anticipate lots of my Things getting started & finished this summer!